well i guess all teenagers have an urge to be famous among the crowd among the opposite sex and i am no exception....but this seems to be driving me crazy.i day dream sometimes of being a gr8 drummer or a guitarist or a singer and what not...to perform on stage and have a huge gal following,sometimes it makes me sick to the core that how can i get so obsessed wiht this.ya i know its weird----day dreaming ,even weirder.but it only makes me wonder about so many things,why i do have a gr8 confidence level,why i dont feel like talking to girls of my class but am free to those back in mumbai...have i developed some type of a stereotype in my brain ,or is it purely my lack of confidence or is it DENIAL!!!!!denial from what,i dont know....perhaps i dont want to know that she doesnt like me as a friend and a person,that i dont strike a chord or something like that....why is it that when it comes to girls....things get so complicated and difficult...but the only thing i can think of is this.i might seem sick or something,but i just cant get all this out of my brain....not that i dont have friends who r girls,to come to think of it,i talk to my female friends in mumbai far mor than i do with their male counterparts.but still i feel this emptiness,this despair and the reason doesnt seem clear.i do have my fair deal of crushes and stuff but i feel something is missing in my life....definitely not a girl friend....i really cant have one now,i have other things to do,besides i am hopeless in that department,when starting a small talk is difficult, having a gf is far far away. i love to see all the 'smooth' guyz on campus walking away with the preetiest girls in antargni but i just keep wondering when i will be on thatside of the highway....perhaps that will happen only when i make a move...but i am gutless...i just cant...all i will end up doing is making a fool of myself...thats all.image and self esteem ruined,i will have no chance...it would be as if i am all naked being laughed at by all those hundreds of gals from all over the country....and i stand there alone,desperate, a total fool!!!!!